Brinjal Murphy™ Café

When you leave a country and start a new life in another one across the ocean, some 10,000 miles way, you never really realize or fully understand, at the time, just how much you will miss your family and friends.  You may argue that you will go back often to visit your family and friends and they will visit you but some 10,000 miles is a long way away and a very expensive plane journey.  In my case it is 20 hours by plane if I include travelling from Florida to New York to take the 18 hour international flight.  This actual flying time does not include airport check-in and waiting times; those can easily add on another 6 to 7 hours.

If any of your friends or family do visit it will be a brief one during which time they will recovering from jetlag, be dashing to theme parks and sight seeing. It will never replace the frequent telephone calls and impromptu home visits when you lived in the same or nearby city.  The times you called a family member or friend on a Saturday morning and said: "how about coming over for a barbeque tonight" and then, after a great time together at the barbeque, you would call a couple of days later and say: "remember our talk at the barbeque about that new boutique in the mall, how about us doing breakfast and that store together."

I got a text message from my brother and sister-in-law on Sunday May 30th saying they were watching the Comrades Marathon on television and it just wasn't the same without us there.  For years I'd had had a champagne breakfast on Comrades Marathon day under umbrellas in our garden for about 25 people and thinking about these times, I immediately felt incredibly nostalgic. 

A few weeks ago some friends of ours of some 26 years, called to say they were in Florida for a week and could we meet for a few hours.  They were visiting family in Ft. Lauderdale and we agreed to meet in Ft. Pierce, the half-way mark between the two of us.

Not knowing where to go for lunch we agreed to meet just off the I-95 and decide from there.  As it turned out, "just off the highway" was a trucker's stop called "Country Market" and it had clean restrooms, a charming restaurant and an appetizing buffet and we all agreed to look no further. 

We slid into a booth, ordered something cool to drink for each of us and between serving ourselves from the buffet, we didn't stop talking for five hours.  We were oblivious to anyone and anything around us.  We caught up on each other's lives, remembered other times we were together, built businesses and solved the world's problems.  Most of all though, we shared laughter and a camaraderie that only longtime friends could enjoy because of a friendship foundation built long ago.  That friendship was taken up as if there had never been years since we last were in contact beyond a few emails per year and the yearly Christmas Card.  It truly was a memorable day!

Those of you who do not have to rely exclusively on expensive air travel and can visit friends and family by car in another City or State, take a brief moment to give thanks for having them close enough so that four wheels will get you there.  It really is very painful to have family and old friends across the ocean, some 10,000 miles away and be unable to see them for 10 years or more at a time.

That said though, I am pleased to have celebrated this 4th of July in Florida with my children and new friends and have made another collection of memories to look back upon and write about.

I'd like to introduce you to my "Please Do Not Ring Doorbell" sign.  We all know the many times the ringing of the doorbell meant the end of a nap that hadn't even begun.  How often have you or your baby been awakened by the shrill of the doorbell?  The "Please Do Not Ring Doorbell" sign placed above your doorbell will stop the interrupted sleep, not only of babies, toddlers and moms but that of the night duty doctor, RN, firefighter, policeman and all the other nighttime workers who are daytime sleepers.

This elegant Doorbell Sign will compliment any doorbell and is easy to install without screws or drills.  Just "peel and stick" and you have a removable doorbell sign to use whenever you need some daytime sleep and when not in use, it safely stores on the refrigerator door.

Please click here Doorbell Sign Products to view and buy your Doorbell Sign. 

I've always considered the dining-room table as the center of a home.  It's the heart, if you will.  It is the place where people coalesce for the sustenance of body and mind; where food is enjoyed, conversation stimulated and where board games and cards entertain. The dining-room table is a place where the happenings of the day are shared, discussions are embraced, decisions are made and where laughter rings out. 

The dining-room table connects the family because it connects all the five senses. From the moment, the aroma that curls around our nostrils, to the holding of hands in prayers of thanks, to the taste of food on our tongues, we are engaged with one another like at no other time during the day or night.

Yes, indeed, the dining-room table forges a togetherness that is quite unique and very precious.  A togetherness that should be encouraged and nurtured

Before coming to America I had an octagon shaped dining-room table that seated 12 people quite comfortably in a circle.  It wasn't easy to pass the salt directly across the width of the circle so good manners were definitely enforced by passing the salt around the table from person to person, nonetheless, its "roundness" promoted intimacy.  I loved that table and have many, many very happy, nostalgic memories of sharing all the above elements, namely, all five senses, with very dear family and friends. 

Regrettably I was unable to bring that dining-room table with me to America but nonetheless, it has been replaced with a long dining-room table which seats 8 with ease, 10 with a slight squeeze and I share it with my family and new friends.

My unsolicited advice to anyone starting a family or those who want to strengthen their family relations and interactions is to make gathering around the dining-room table an important part of your lives.

It really doesn't matter what shape it is.  As long as it is big enough to seat the family and a friend or two.  As long as it has comfortable chairs on which people can feel happy to enjoy hours of conversation or games.  As long as it can be decorated, whether simply or elaborately to appeal to the senses, and is inviting to sit at.  As long as the household rule to sit at it for meals is unwaveringly maintained, and undisturbed by television or outside distractions, the dining-room table will remain a steadfast and stable enhancement to the senses and a unifier of family and friends.

When I came to America, and even to this day, when people learn I am originally from South Africa, I am asked if I had lions walking in my garden.  Whilst South Africa has many wildlife or game reserves (as it is known in Africa) where the "big five", lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo and rhino are free to roam and hunt, the Kruger Park being the biggest at approximately 217 miles in length and 33 miles in width, I never saw wildlife in my city garden in South Africa as I do at my city home in Florida.

It's true that whilst in Africa, I have experienced waking up to elephants pulling down trees and drinking out of the hotel pool but that was in Zimbabwe along the banks of Lake Kariba and my husband was chased by these same elephant while videoing them but no, never in South Africa in the cities outside the fenced off wildlife/game reserves.

On the other hand, at my home in Florida apart from the grey squirrels, which, of course, are abundant here, I've had raccoons, armadillos, opossums, pelicans, owls, egrets, falcons, hawks, bald eagles and once a black bear visit and take a stroll through my garden and I live in a very busy vibrant city in a county with a population of about 413,000.

Having said that, it came as no surprise while typing at my computer on Sunday, that a large turtle should come walking past the glass sliding doors of my study.  Fortunately, the batteries in my camera were charged (unlike the time the large black bear came lumbering through my garden a few years ago) and I dashed outside to take a few pictures.  We do live next to a very large lake so I can only assume he was taking a break from the water!

I never really knew when I was little that my father was an incredibly unique and skilled watchmaker.  I know that there were always people with frowning brows and sad eyes knocking at our door with watches in their hands and my father's warm, friendly smile that said "trust me" would reassure them that he would fix their precious watches or clocks.  

I know too, that they came from far and wide on a recommendation from a friend or family.  I often heard them saying:  "I drove two hours on my friend Jimmy's recommendation because no one has been able to fix my watch and he said if anyone could you could." 

Dedicated to his craft as a watchmaker, he loved working on watches the most.  Clocks were not his favorite.  His biggest dislike was for cuckoo clocks and the glass dome mantel clocks.  He disliked their mechanisms but he always got them to work. I, on the other hand, loved it when someone brought one of those black forest German cuckoo clocks to be fixed.  We didn't have one and for a week or two after it was fixed it would hang on a special hook on the kitchen wall and I got to pull the chains of the heavy black pine-cone shaped weights to keep them ticking and "cuckooing".

Living in the home of a watchmaker can make the dead of night quite noisy.  Well some would say noisy, others would say musical.  The many clocks would tick tock and chime or gong on the hour and half hour and often some were not quite to the minute so that they would not all go at once but some would end as another started and others would delay their announcements by a minute or two or three. 

Most often though, it was the arrival of a new clock on the mantelpiece or wall for testing after being repaired that would be the discord in the night. Its sound would penetrate the realm of sleep and awaken me and I would count the chimes or the gongs as the hours ticked away.  I was often able to tell my father that a clock was losing or gaining time by their chiming not coinciding with our own "spot on" timepieces.

The positive aspect of having so many clocks around was that I learned to tell the time long, long before I learned the ABC.  My best teacher was the roman numerical clock encased in a long wooden box with a huge round brass pendulum that swung rhythmically left to right on the wall in our kitchen.  I also loved climbing up on the kitchen dresser to swing open the clock's glass door and insert the large brass key into the two holes in its face to wind it up.

The most enjoyable part of my father being a watchmaker was when I was allowed to sit on a stool beside his workbench and either watch him at work or be given an old junk clock to "fix". I would talk and ask questions and he would answer while clenching the  black eye loupe between his eyebrow and cheekbone and focusing on the intricate and tiny parts in the watch he was working on.

With steady fingers he would unscrew the tiny screws and remove the parts with a very sharp-nosed tweezers and study them for a few minutes before either dumping them into a fine meshed cage that got lowered into a bottle of cleaning solution in a machine or throwing them out if they were damaged.  If a part had to be replaced and it usually was the mainspring, he would take a new part from a little capsule that looked like a clear pill capsule which was kept in a tagged compartment in a wooden box or from a small 2"x 2" envelope with the part number on it.  Sometimes he would drop the part and it would jump and shoot over the workbench surface onto the floor and we could spend upwards of an hour on all fours looking for it. 

That was fun for me.  Like a treasure hunt and I loved to be the one to find the lost part.  One time the part fell into one of the turned up cuffs of my father's gray flannels and it was my mother who suggested, after exhausting all possibilities, that he search in there. 

Another fun activity was the hour long train trip I took with my father to Johannesburg every two months to replenish watch parts from a jewelry store.  I would get to ride on the train with its green leather seats and walk in the big city from the Johannesburg Station down the long never ending Rissik Street to the corner of Eloff and Commissioner Streets and we always stopped off along the way at a café for a coke float.

As these long forgotten memories of a watchmaker and father who passed on forty years ago, return, it reminds me that sometimes it’s the simplest things and moments that we share with our children or the people we love that can be a joy at the time of their happening and also years later when remembered.

It also all ties in with my previous article "As A Mom Speak Up" where I advocate children having free time to learn by doing things with one or the other parent.  Every moment spent with children is a learning encounter and when that encounter is laced with love, it is a precious one, a lifetime one.

It is Spring and allergy time for many.  I am one of the people affected by the oak's yellow pollen and try not to spend too much time outdoors during the month of March and early April.  Keeping floating allergens in the air to a bear minimum has always been a top priority in my home and one way is to have carpeting as the main floor covering.  Yes, you have heard right.  Carpeting in place of hard floor.

We have heard a lot about how bad carpets are for allergies but there are some really good advantages for those with allergies if they have carpets fitted.  Carpets attract and trap floating particles in their carpet fibers and hold them until you get a vacuum cleaner to safely suck them away.

Hard floors on the otherhand, have no way to trap and hold particles so every time the fan twirls or you walk over the hard floors you stir those particles that have settled on the surface, back up into the air.  This means that to eliminate those offending particles or dust you have to wet clean the hard floors many times a day to stop the floating allergens from circulating and re-circulating in the air.

Many people say that cleaning is easier and cheaper when the floors are made of wood, stone or tile.  I would say that spills are easier to wipe up but generally, hard floors are a great deal more work to keep free of dust and dirt on a day to day basis than carpeted floors because with allergies, you just simply have to wet wipe away that dust every day from hard floors to keep the air clean.  

In my mind, carpets are definitely allergy friendly.  They'll be happy to hold the dust and allergens from circulating in the air and as long as you use a vacuum cleaner with a good strong suction and vacuum the carpets twice a week, you will have less particles floating in the air to tickle your nose and get the sneezing and watery eyes going than if you have hard floors.

I remember those adventurous days when a large three foot tall steel drum, cut in half, formed the best boat to navigate an imaginary river you have ever seen.  It would rock from side to side with our bodies flung left to right in quick unison as the "boat" shifted, inch by inch across a small area of the dirt yard strewn with large pebbles which were great big rocks, in our minds, that persisted in ramming our "boat".  Squeals of "look out" and "we're going to fall out and drown" could be heard as we desperately clung to the side of the "boat" as it nearly tipped over completely, spilling us onto the gritty dirt. 

This was not a scene on a farm or even a large plot of land but in the backyard of our suburban homes under the sprawling branches of a great fir tree which never allowed the grass to grow beneath its shaded canopy.  Its branches swaying with the breeze causing wavy shadows of "water" to flow on the patch that became our rippling river.

That was a day in my childhood.  Then TV arrived but that did not stop my children. They too played their imaginary games despite the TV's enticing "He Man", "Thunder Cats" and "The Teenager Mutant Ninja Turtles" or "My Little Pony" programs.  Yes, they watched and collected those figurines with their castles and paraphernalia and they did play indoors with these characters with their friends but they played outdoors too. 

They climbed the trees in the garden and scrambled up six foot walls and walked "tight rope" along the top of the walls and they played endlessly in their sandpit. The sandpit was a hole in the ground two feet deep, three foot wide and five foot long filled with builder's sand.  One time when the sandpit was low on sand, we filled it with water and they had a mud bath and a "mud throwing fight". 

All these outdoor activities were in the heat of summer with no thought of staying indoors in the coolness of air-conditioning.

Do children still play this way?  I have to wonder.  I have lived in Florida for sixteen years and have never seen children playing outside in an imaginative way.  Yes they have swum in the pool or ridden on their bikes or shot hoops or flipped on skateboards but none have climbed trees or built imaginative boats or raced each other in wooden boxes with rickety wheels pretending to be Spiderman, He Man, Tinkerbell or a racing car hero.

Is it because of lawsuits and threats from child services if kids hurt themselves and fear by their parents that they would be accused of child abuse or perhaps homeowner's associations that want to keep the neighborhood straight-laced and proper?  I really have no idea except to say that I would find it rather sad if that were to be the case. Sad that children may no longer learn from creating something from nothing, something in which the mind and the whole body can participate using only their imaginations. Are these creative imaginative adventures dead for children of the 21st century?

I, like most people, have many political opinions and am very tempted to launch into a political opinion journal, but I never intended my website to become a political platform, there are quite enough of those, until now.  I find it very difficult to hold back when it comes to Vitamins.  I am a huge believer in Vitamin Supplements for a healthy life and have taken large quantities of vitamins every day for many many years without ill effects and with HUGE benefits to both my family and myself.

Now Senator John McCain wants the FDA to get involved in regulating the Vitamin Industry and has introduced the Dietary Supplement Safety Act, S.3002.  That infuriates me. When will the government stop regulating everything?  They have regulated us into oblivion and then some and they always use our safety as an excuse to remove more and more of our freedoms. 

We have done just fine as far as vitamin safety is concerned for at least the 38 years that I have been taking vitamin supplements but now Senator John McCain and his cosponsor(s) want the FDA to regulate the potency of vitamin supplements to be more in line with the European Food Safety Authority and institute more controls.  What ridiculous nonsense is this?  Since when has the European Food Safety Authority become our Big Daddy and why are we being tucked under the FDA's wing as though we are little children needing guidance in choosing what vitamins and what potency we need for ourselves. 

I have to ask: Senator McCain are you so afraid of your safety in whatever essential minerals and vitamins you may be taking that you need to ask the FDA to tell you what they think is best for you?  Do you think the supplements that are designed to improve and keep you healthy and prevent you from becoming ill need to be regulated for the safety of your health?  Did you know that Vitamins HELP you to avoid taking those dangerous medications that the FDA does approve of?  Why on earth would you purposely want to regulate vitamin supplements and essential minerals and herbs? 

Why, Senator McCain would you want to make robots out of us?  Why do you want the government to have complete control over our lives in the preposterously innocent guise of safety?   How nonsensical is that?

Update on Tuesday, May 25, 2010 at 7:06PM by [Pamela McMonagle]

It would appear that the Dietary Supplement Safety Act of 2010, S.3002 no longer has Senator McCain's support but that Senator Hatch is getting behind another revised bill which is a watered down version of the original bill.  Its purpose is to seek transparency from the dietary supplement industry. 

I just can't believe they keep trying to fix things that aren't broken under the guise of protecting us!

Another case of science bumping common sense out of the equation.

I read an article online a couple of days ago (unfortunately I didn't save it) about studies on why some children get bullied and how these victims can change their demeanor to become more acceptable. It stuck in the back of my mind until this evening when I finally had time to think about it and why it rankled.  Bullies were being excused for their behavior. 

Suddenly it was the victim to blame for lacking "social skills" and parents were being advised on how they could teach their victimized children to share and be socially acceptable to the bullies of this world.  

Is it only me, I thought, or are there other Moms out there who reject such an absurd idea;  reject the premise that a child who is bullied, somehow, through a subtle lack of social skills "asks" to be bullied and rejected because of their little nuances of possibly not seeing that their behavior is irritating the bully. 

Wow!  I do hope there aren't any foolish Moms who follow this idea simply because the article referenced scientific studies done by psychologists.  My goodness, common sense tells us that it is the bully that should be studied if anyone is going to be studied.  That it is the bully who lacks social skills and needs to be taught to share. 

It seems to me that in the rush to explain bad behavior in some people, it is expedient to find something in the victim that "forced" the perpetrator to act badly towards them.  How convenient.  Just think about how that can play out throughout life if we allow the bullies the "benefit of the doubt" and train the more timid of us to do everything to placate the bully's actions.

Tell that to a battered wife, a parent of a murdered child or a rape victim or a bombing victim. That way one is excusing the wife abuser, murderer, the rapist and the terrorist.  They were all just bullies who were irritated by what the victim did or didn't do to them or because they couldn't get their way.

I reckon that is suggestive psychology at its worst.  I wonder if these people ever study common sense but I guess if you can't put a picture, a scientific equation or the right question to it, it doesn't exit.  Who can explain what common sense is?  It just is!  Some have an abundance of it and some, sadly, have absolutely none.

God was particularly careful and precise when He created the earth wasn't He?

He placed it exactly where it would get heat from the sun and tide movement from the moon.

He gave it air and gravity and sunshine and rain.

He worked in the seasons and a cyclical traverse that causes natural occurrences and vegetation and plant to thrive and die and thus forge elements according to His plan.

He created it all so that man could construct shelters and be able to cook and have heat from coal and gas and wood and oil and he added gold and silver, diamonds and copper for man to prosper.

He gave man meat and fish to eat, trees laden with fruit and soil to grow food.

Yes, God loves the earth and it is not man in his wisdom who'll "save" or "destroy" it

because God in His wisdom will be the one to charts its course.

It is, after all, God's Hand that turns the World.

Yesterday I made a Christmas Pudding.  I haven't made one in many years.  Mainly because I haven't really seen the ingredients for one while in the U.S., but I came across a bag of Safari Cake Mix from South Africa on the shelf at the International Food Store …… mmm…. I seem to be giving them a plug here!!!  Anyway, although it was pricy, its contents of sultanas, golden sultanas, seedless raisins, currents and candied citrus peel in variable proportions all contribute to the flavor of, what I know as, a darn tasty Christmas Pudding and I wanted to enjoy a homemade Christmas favorite. 

I also made meringues and will glue two together with thickly whipped cream as part of dessert on Christmas Day.  It is a McMonagle Christmas tradition to have homemade meringues and cream for Christmas Dinner.  That and Roast Leg of Lamb.  Those two items are our specialty.

The Christmas Tree has been trimmed in gold and red and though its only about 6' 3" this year as opposed to the 8' one of last year, it fills the "Christmas Tree Spot" perfectly with its merry lights. The lighted houses and tea light candle holders surrounded with fake snow, send wisps of light and flame dancing across the living room.  The Christmas stockings are hanging from the mantle and in every nook and cranny there are snowmen, Santa, holly and elves.

The bright red Christmas plates and bowls, placemats and coasters, salt and pepper shakers and napkins stand ready for the Christmas Day fare and in true South African tradition, the box of Christmas Crackers wait to take their place as a prominent part of the Christmas Dinner Table.  They will amuse and delight with their snaps, jokes and paper hats.

Lastly but most important of all, in a corner of the fireplace the nativity figurines are carefully placed around the baby Jesus, reminding us what Christmas is really all about.

Without Him, none of the above would exist and with Him in our hearts at this time, the wonderful Spirit of Christmas comes alive. 

It’s the time of the year when giving is so much bigger than receiving and whether the giving and receiving is large or small nothing can mean anything without the spirit of Christmas to touch us.

It is within this Spirit of Christmas that I dedicate this page to my dearest beloved and only brother who is in hospital at this time wrestling with Mesothelioma cancer and repeated surgeries.  Although you are 10,000 miles away, in my mind, you are as close as if you were but in the next room.  I "see" all the Christmases we had together, with all the trimmings and trappings but it is the spirit of family and togetherness that I feel more than anything else.  Memory must surely be one of God's finest gifts.  What joy to see you and hear your laughter even when you cannot be with us and we cannot be with you.  

Merry Christmas dear brother.

Update on Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 8:53AM by [Pamela McMonagle]

Quick Christmas Pudding

There is still time before Christmas to bake a Christmas Pudding.  The microwave recipe I used takes 10 minutes in a 700w microwave and 5.10 minutes in a 1200w microwave, plus standing time.  If you would like a copy of the Microwave Christmas Pudding, please join our free membership section.  Along with the Christmas Pudding recipe there is also a recipe for Brandy Source and Brandy Butter - your choice -  to serve over your pudding. Merry Christmas!

You Are My Daughter

There are things in my life that I can do without

but I never, never want to be without you

You are the light of my day and joy of my night

you bring sun beams into every corner of my life

You are my daughter

Your smile, your laughter, your spirited disposition

transforms every moment, every situation

to something vibrant and quite exceptional

and your honesty and integrity is definitely admirable

You are my daughter

You can articulate and argue with passion

yet your sensitivity and thoughtfulness has no comparison

you are indeed the sweetest, prettiest girl I know

with charm and grace you exude a golden glow

You are my daughter

And not to mention your songful voice

would be a crime I would not commit by choice

for it can enthrall and thrill an amphitheatre

Yes, indeed, I am really proud you are my daughter!

 by Pamela McMonagle ©2009

To each and every store that I might shop at, I'll be most offended if you do not wish me a Merry Christmas and also if you totally ignore that Christmas is what prompts the vast majority of gift buying and not the "holidays".

If you take Christmas out of the "Holiday", what holiday do you have?  Oh, I know, maybe you're referring to New Year's Day!  We don't say Happy Holiday on Independence Day nor do we say Happy Holiday for Thanksgiving Day.  I see no reason to say Happy Holiday for Christmas Day.

Some would rather that the 25th of December be a holiday without naming the holiday and the reason for the holiday.  For years they have been defining the cards, the lights and the trees and gifts as "holiday fare" yet the very reason for them is the holiday we know as Christmas. 

It's even difficult to find the words Christmas Card on the packs of seasonal greetings cards and, lately, the Christmas Tree has become the "holiday tree". When will manufacturers and retailers learn that we want Christmas Cards, Christmas Lights, Christmas Ornaments and Christmas Trees to celebrate Christmas Day and the Christmas Season!  When will they realize that the majority of people in America and Europe are Christians, be they active or not. We are not "Holiday" Shoppers, we are Christmas Shoppers.  When will they realize that to us it is Merry Christmas or Happy Christmas, not Happy Holidays, that brings all these things together not the "non offensive" word Holiday.

Be proud to wish your Christian friends a wonderful Christmas, don't hide it behind "happy holidays" as though there is something to be ashamed of.  We're not ashamed of Christmas, we love Christmas, we're ashamed of those who try hide it in the shadow of neutrality.   

Maybe its time to add the true Christmas Carols like "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem", "Once in Royal David's City", "The First Noel" and "Silent Night" to the other Christmas songs in your store.  Make a difference because most of your shoppers really care that Christ was born and want to celebrate His birthday when they shop for Christmas presents and prepare for Christmas Day.

Stop catering to the minority and embrace the majority!!

It is 21 years ago since I first heard about Accutane (Roaccutane, as it is known outside of America) and 20 years since I decided to take a course of Accutane pills to rid myself of acne. 

I was well out of my teens, married with a son of eight and daughter of five and still I had large blind acne lumps continually appearing and lingering for weeks on my face; many times persistently reappearing in the same spot.  They were painful and unsightly and leaving pitted scars.  For years I had gone from one dermatologist to the next for help. I'd spent an inordinate amount of money on lotions and potions both over-the-counter and prescription and taken course after course of tetracyclines, all to no avail.  The acne did not abate and the scarring was an added torment. 

When my five year old daughter was in hospital for suspected encephalitis and her nurse's eyes kept straying to the huge boil-like spot between my eyebrows, I made the decision to see my dermatologist about going on Accutane.

The physician I consulted explained the pros and cons of Accutane and how important it was not to become pregnant because of serious deformities in the baby and how I would need to have regular blood tests to check my liver.  I also had to visit him each month so that he could monitor my progress and he stressed that I should call him if I was concerned about anything no matter how small or had any untoward symptoms.   Notwithstanding that Accutane was extremely costly and my medical didn't cover it and it was also a potent medication that is not to be taken lightly, I decided to go ahead with the treatment.

Everything went beautifully until the third month when I woke up one morning and found I had arthritic pains in all my joints.  I called my dermatologist and he reduced the dosage.  He said I would probably only have a 92% cure rather than a 100% one.  I was a little disappointed to hear that.  Within a few days of lowering the Accutane dosage, however, the pains disappeared and I was able to continue using Accutane till the end of the treatment period of 4 months. 

One of the nicest things I experienced while on Accutane was the dryness of my hair which had always been exceptionally oily and thus needed to be washed every day.  The worst experience, of course, was the painful joints and very dry lips but I also had a grumpy feeling about me which is not part of my normal disposition.

As I said, it has been twenty years since I took that course of Accutane and though I have very occasionally experienced a small bump on my face, it has disappeared within a day or two.  I still have some acne scars but nothing like it would have been had I not taken Accutane.  

While I am very grateful that Accutane was available to me to stop the pain and indignity of my acne, I know it is not for everyone. For me, it was one of the best things I have ever done and I will always hold Accutane in high regard.  The joy of being acne free for the past twenty years is immeasurable.

Update on Monday, December 7, 2009 at 8:39AM by [Pamela McMonagle]

It appears that Roche are pulling Accutane from the American market, I believe because of lawsuits.   I, for one, am extremely sad to hear that. It is devastating news for acne sufferers.  

It was the only drug that cured my acne and anyone who thinks that acne is not a serious and debilitating disease has no idea what they are talking about unless they have experienced it. I've heard it said "oh it's only a psychological complaint, not a real disease".  I say, unless you've walked a mile in an acne suffer's shoes, you have no right to comment.  People use Botox and have face lifts and plastic surgery to remove lines and sags from their faces for heaven sakes, how much worse not to be able to remove the horrible scar producing acne from their faces and I'm talking about acne that starts in the teenage years and continues for the rest of your life!!

I am talking about acne that can change a beautiful face and smooth back into a monstrous ugly tangle of scars and oozing bumps. Yes acne causes psychological damage but it is also physically painful and damaging and ugly.

Update on Tuesday, June 15, 2010 at 12:00AM by [Pamela McMonagle]

Regrettably and sadly, the lawyers are going after the generic manufacturers of Accutane now.  Soon they too will pull out of the American market or discontinue making Accutane. 

What would we do without those lightweight disposable plastic grocery bags? Imagine if they no longer exist. Imagine if they get banned from all shopping centers!  Horror of all horrors!  Suddenly we wouldn't have any plastic bags to reuse for the dogs poop or the baby's disposable diapers - ugh - that could cause a problem!  A smelly one.

What about those clean-eaten chicken bones and T Bones and lamb and pork chop bones that you store in used plastic grocery bags inside the freezer until the next garbage pick up?  No used plastic grocery bags for placing shoes in when travelling or going to the gym or soft ball practice and what about wet clothes and swim wear? What will we do with those on the drive home from the beach or a friend's house?  For those of you blessed with orange, lemon or other fruit trees and bushes, who so willingly share this bounty with neighbors and friends by the bagful, what would you use instead of those handy plastic reusuable grocery bags?

I would certainly be lost without a used grocery bag to put the wet umbrella into and those wet snow and ice removing implements and gloves which would have to be stuck on the carpet in the trunk.  Oh and what about a "garbage" bag for the car especially on a long trip and there is always the spare used ones I keep in the glove compartment in case one of the kids throw up from car sickness.  Then there's the waste bins in the bathrooms and bedrooms  - no recycled used grocery liners for those!

Of course I could always start buying more boxes of baggies or dinkum trash liners but that would be using new bags for the above uses which are always pretty much taken care of by saving the disposable plastic grocery bags.  Besides, they wouldn't be big enough and certainly won't be able to be tied securely to keep out smells without those bothersome wire ties.

I also often wonder how hygienic these new reusable polyester and nylon bags are when they get used over and over across check out counters and in shopping carts and in the trunk with fresh food.  Of course people may diligently wash them and let them drip-dry in their bathrooms or something, every time they're used.  I read a report that staph bacteria binds to polyester pretty strongly and that two thirds of shopping carts tested had fecal matter on them.  Not very kosher at all!

You know, it kind of reminds me of a time when doctors didn't use gloves to perform surgeries and how the invention of disposable gloves saved so many lives because of bacteria not being transferred.

Oh and if the grocers decide to keep offering the indispensable disposal plastic grocery bags but start charging a fee for them, they will definitely add money to their pockets.  What a bonus for them!  They already have the bags priced into each item. 

Needless to say, I do not shop at stores who don't offer free disposable plastic shopping bags because I'm really afraid I'll run out of reusable plastic disposable bags doing my shopping that way!!  I can't imagine using new clear plastic bags for the above uses.  Can you?

Seriously though, if you're not into washing and drying and storing and remembering to drag fabric or so-called "green" bags with you for your weekly groceries and think you'll use paper over plastic, you'd be wise to study more about it because it actually costs environmentally more to produce and deliver paper bags than it does plastic. Also, these new stronger "green" polyester and nylon bags, they too will end up on the landfill and they will take infinitely longer to decompose.  For those who don't want to use disposable plastic bags - that's okay with me.  I respect your decision.  I do hope you'll respect mine and that I don’t want to pay double for my plastic bags but if I really have to, I will.  In the long run, it will be environmentally cheaper than using new plastic bags for those "old" conveniences.

Update on Monday, June 7, 2010 at 1:04PM by [Pamela McMonagle]

Now my fears of "where have all the plastic bags gone" are coming to fruition:  The California Bill AB 1998 to Ban Plastic Bags!

What amazes me most about this bill AB 1998 to ban plastic bags in California is that the people who are not in favor of it seem to meekly accept that plastic bags will be banned either because they are too scared that people will think they don't care about the environment if they resist or they are too busy to care.  Then there are those who are in favor of it, who, on the whole, seem to have been brainwashed into believing that plastic bags are so bad that they must go without studying all the repercussions surrounding their ban.  What will happen to all the industries who use recycled plastic bags for other uses if all plastic bags are one day a thing of the past?   Where is the actual evidence of how it performs in landfills and the damage to marine life?  Who did the studies and under what conditions?  Where are the studies if they were done?  It's my belief, knowing how clean and aware Americans are of the environment, that plastic bags aren't littered all over the ocean.  I haven't seen any, have you? As for the California Grocers Association they caved under intimidation.  Just gave up out of fear of more draconian rules.  Just what can be more draconian than NO plastic bags?  Where is common sense in all this?  Thus, bills like AB 1998 will often be enacted because of the 2% "squeaky wheel" environmentalists and their constant drumbeat, who will only be happy when caveman conditions are left on this earth for them to thrive in.

As a mom I want the best for my children.  As a mom, I am like millions of other moms through the ages who took then, and, take now, the protecting, nurturing and guiding of their children seriously.  As a mom like you, the caring and loving of our children is unconditional and unequal to anything outside the home and the circle of our arms. 

Why is it then that some feel that once our children step into a school to learn academics that we have given up control of our children to these institutions?

Suddenly school boards, principals and teachers know what's best for our children on levels way beyond reading, writing, and math. They think we, as moms, fail in so many "life" skills that it is up to the institutions to teach them these valuable attributes along with their math and science.

I hear that there is talk about lengthening the school hours to further erode the time we have with our children because the powers that be think that the academics these institutions teach are more important than family time and other activities that aren't provided by schools.  As a mom, you know that ballet, horse riding, skating, badminton, little league, karate, judo, piano and other musical instrument lessons, religious education, baking and cooking with mom, fixing the car with dad, learning people skills with siblings and friends, playing board games and chess with grandma or grandad and learning to lose gracefully, play an important part in the education and wholeness of us as individuals.

Is your education worth naught because you didn't go to school for longer hours? 

Now some will say "oh but look at the statistics the academia have quoted about other countries being way ahead in math and the sciences than American schools and they have longer hours" and "we have different responsibilities in the 21st century to stretch our minds" and "we have done experiments with children with longer hours and they do exceptionally well and they love it".   (Malcolm Gladwell's book "Outliers" has an example of this regimen but though he told us about the successes, he did not mention the failures nor does the book show stats of what affects "all work and very little family time" will have on these children in later years.  I think it’s a good book but I don't agree with this part of it.)

As a mom who knows her children best, I say, if the children haven't learned these math, science and reading skills in the time they currently have at school we should take a harder look at the curriculum (particularly the time spent on training for the FCATS (in Florida) STAR (in California) and other State test scores) and also at how the teachers are doing their jobs.  Are they in their jobs because they love teaching children, for instance, or because it's just a means of income?  It's also no secret that some deadbeat or inept teachers are kept on the pay roll because of tenure and/or unions.  I've had personal experience of that scenario.  I also have experience with  schools outside the U.S.A.

My children are out of school now.  I am proud of the adults they have become.  While they were in school, as a caring and loving mom, I was always engaged in their school activities and education.  When the school didn't do the right thing I complained.  If the principal did nothing I went to the local school board or higher.

Children are a precious gift from God and as their moms we have a right and a duty to speak up for them so they can become well-rounded moms and dads themselves.   

I have received so many requests from India for a brinjal poem that I have finally composed a poem about brinjals and have it listed under "poetry" in the main part of my website.  It is called "Brinjals - The King of Vegetables".  Here is a link to it: Poetry

I was saddened today to see that Kraft has made a hostile takeover bid for Cadbury and their delicious chocolates and candy.  I know that shareholder pressure and financial gain will ultimately dictate whether Kraft are successful in their bid. So far, it seems Cadbury has resisted them.  It would be a great pity if Kraft were actually able to succeed in a takeover in the future.

That reason is simple: Cane Sugar.  Yes, it would seem that anything American food and beverage companies can get their hands on they will eventually change from cane sugar to high fructose corn syrup and where applicable, they will introduce the cheap E102 (yellow #5) as the yellow colorant in the candy.  Cheaper to make, more profits they'd argue.  I'd say that Cadbury's vision, and I quote, in part, "the biggest and best" and their commitment to taste and flavor, may not last if this substitute for cane sugar takes over.

High Fructose Corn Syrup has a decidedly different, sickly sweet taste and is no match for cane sugar.  I go out of my way to buy Cadbury and frequent the International Food store on a regular basis to buy chocolate bars and candy made with cane sugar.

If I were the marketing arm of Cadbury I'd tout the cane sugar over anything else. If you believe you are "the biggest and the best" then it is worth standing up for what makes it a superior product, namely, regular cane sugar.

Update on Friday, November 20, 2009 at 11:50AM by [Pamela McMonagle]

It appears that Kraft now has a contender in the form of Hersheys.  I have written to the Chairman of Cadburys to resist their bids but I may be a lone voice unless others who feel the same way do the same.

Update on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 at 8:35AM by [Pamela McMonagle]

So far Cadbury has rejected Kraft's offers.  Hopefully they will continue to do so and hopefully the shareholders will side with Cadbury's Chairman, Roger Car and reject Kraft's offer.  It's my hope that these companies care more about the chocolate, than how their bottom line is going to look to their shareholders. At this time Hershey is quiet - in the discourse about Hershey's interest,  someone said that Cadbury in America was made by Hersheys anyway ....... yes, but under licence to Cadbury which means - it's made according to Cadbury standards.   Again, hopefully, Hershley will remain quiet.

Update on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 6:14PM by [Pamela McMonagle]

As you may have heard, Cadbury's shareholders and Cadbury's Chairman, Roger Carr have caved and sold out to Kraft.   All I can say is that Cadbury's shareholders seem to have preferred the numbers in their bank accounts to the chocolate that Cadbury makes.  One is left wondering if there are any true chocolate lover in Cadbury's midst.  There are no guarantees that Cadbury Chocolate will remain, as they are, one of a kind, mouthwatering Chocolate. It's a sad, sad  day for Cadbury Chocolate Lovers.

Update on Sunday, May 23, 2010 at 12:51PM by [Pamela McMonagle]

I recently read in an article written in the New York Times that Kraft have removed High Fructose Corn Syrup from some of their salad dressings and replaced it with regular sugar.  Cane sugar.  I was really pleased to hear this. 

Since my son's engagement, I have been swept into the excited discussions with him and his bride-to-be on wedding plans and, particularly, venues. One of the venues under consideration is a beautiful Victorian mansion in the sprawling grounds of an historical country estate in the heart of a neighboring city which greets you with a magnificent porte-cochere and old world charm.  The massive bold and impressive doors open to a stunning ballroom of crystal chandeliers and round tables dressed in elegant floor length linens and complimented with gold Chivari chairs.  An idyllic setting except for the customer service.

I was asked to take a look at this charming place and called yesterday for an appointment.  The receptionist told me that the wedding coordinator was in a meeting but that she would ask her to call me at around 1.30 to 2.00 p.m.  At 3.30 p.m. I had still not heard from her so I called again.  The receptionist was flustered when she heard my voice which is quite distinctive given I have not got an American accent and without apologizing for the coordinator's discourtesy in not getting back to me, she put me through to her. 

Nor was there any apology from the coordinator herself and so I graciously assumed that she hadn't got the message from the receptionist.  I made an appointment for 12.30 p.m. to-day to tour the facility.  We arrived on time and once again, the receptionist was flustered.  It appears the coordinator had not returned from a dental appointment and the receptionist hurriedly alerted the Director of Sales who came across immediately to show us around.

She was charming and pleasant as she guided us through the grand ballroom and told us how their award winning chef would meet personally with the bride with samples of the various dishes so that they could taste them and decide on what they liked.  She was happy to call the bride's mother in Georgia and work with her on an individualized wedding package.  There was no doubt that she was passionate about the venue and the cuisine and how much effort they put into weddings.

I came away feeling that it would be a lovely place for my son's wedding despite the hiccup of shoddy customer service at the beginning of our encounter with the facility.  The professional thing to do would have been for the coordinator to call me this afternoon to apologize for not being available due to an unavoidable extension to her dental appointment.

In the meantime, learning about the traditions and nuances of an American wedding up close is a new experience for me and it is both intriguing and exciting. 

Note:  Since my view on the poor service in the above article and without mentioning it to my son and his fiancee, they too received poor service when they went to view the place.  Also, a friend who had dined there told me that he felt the service had slipped from when it first opened. When will business owners learn that customer service is a key component in running a successful business!

I would like to congratulate my son and his fiancée on their engagement over the weekend. My son, you make a delightful engaged couple, and your future bride is not only lovely but she is also sweet, kind and courageous. Overcoming, with such determination, a devastating auto accident, caused by a drunk driver, is both gutsy and admirable. Learning to talk all over again and then becoming a speech pathologist and working with stroke victims with such dedication reveals what a strong character she has.

She too, is lucky to have such a patient and understanding young man as you for her future husband.

Congratulations and God Bless you both.