Happy New Year - Make 2012 a Year of Smiles

As the old year's fires are doused and I look to a New Year, I remember the contributions made by the people who have left this earth during 2011 and prior years.  No one leaves this world without leaving their mark. Some will be personal ones and some will be indirect.   Be it a big or a small one, a joyful one or hateful one, the mark of the departed touch those left behind.

The marks do not have to be of geniuses, learned or acclaimed to be profound.  They may be of little importance to most but be significant to a few.  If I can leave one mark of my own it would be that things I did or said are remembered with a smile.  For if I can put a smile on someone's face even when I am no longer here to do it in person then I would have succeeded in leaving a mark of significance rather than indifference. 

And so as another year has passed and we celebrate a New Year into life, I shall find new ways to create smiles.  I wish everyone a Happy New Year.  May you make smiles to remember in 2012.

Pamela

To Trap The Wind - An E-Book Romance Novel by Pamela McMonagle

It is a special day for me today.  It's the launch day for my new full length romantic novel in e-Book pdf format. TO TRAP THE WIND is a 64,370 word, 244 page romantic saga. The first half, Book One, is set in sunny South Africa during the 1980's and the second half, Book Two, in California in the early 2000's.   Click HERE to purchase your copy. 

Separated by miles, years and circumstance, Chase Mendelson's eyes, his smile and the timbre of his voice, his compelling presence remained branded into Kateland Hamilton-Burn's heart; never to fade and never forgotten.  Then after sixteen years of silence, when she could no longer ignore the longing for him, she reaches out to him.  The box of pink and white marshmallows arrives and contact is established and her life changes forever when she discovers that he has spent all those years they were apart planning his revenge and to trap the wind. 

CLICK HERE TO BUY YOUR COPY

 

Pay It Forward - A Touching True Story of Strife and Heartfelt Giving

I thought this true pay it forward story is worthwhile telling.

A man I know, who would prefer to remain anonymous, so we'll call him Mathew, who lives in the US, has a longtime friend in South Africa who has been a member of a particular golf club in South Africa for over 30 years.  This friend emails the golf club's monthly newsletter to Mathew as a matter of interest and discussion between the two of them.

One month there was a story in the newsletter that touched Mathew. 

It was about a young woman who had often been seen sitting in her parked car at the club.  No one had taken much notice of her apart from registering that she was there and were shocked to learn one morning that she had been found dead in her car. She had committed suicide.  During the police investigation it was revealed that the woman had suffered great financial strife and had left a child to be taken care of by an aging grandmother of 86, who, herself, appeared to be destitute.  

The reason this story touched Mathew was because he, himself, was experiencing severe financial strife so he understood how hopeless one can feel and his thoughts lingered with the poor 86 year old woman who had not only lost her daughter but who now had a grandchild to take care of.  

Some months went by and then Mathew got a chance to do something for someone else who was also under financial pressure but whom he felt was worse off than himself.  He received an email from his nephew who lived in South Africa but was visiting England on vacation.  His nephew wanted to know if Mathew would purchase a gospel CD that could only be found in the US and send it to him in the UK to take back to his secretary, in South Africa, who had requested it.  He said he would reimburse Mathew the cost of the CD and the shipping which came to $54.

Mathew told his nephew that he would be happy to help him obtain the CD but asked that instead of reimbursing him for these costs, if his nephew would, on his return to South Africa, kindly seek the address of the 86 year old grandmother and send her the money.

When Mathew's nephew heard the story, he got his secretary to find out where the grandmother lived and he not only sent the grandmother the $54 that he owed Mathew but added to it in the amount of R5,000 which at that time, was the equivalent of $714. 

The secretary was tenacious in her search of the 86 year old grandmother and when she found her and called her to tell her that she would be sending her a check for approximately $770, the grandmother was very suspicious of accepting such a gift from a stranger. She was convinced that the monetary gift was a hoax and that she might go to jail for cashing the check.

It took some explaining to reassure the old lady that the money was from the heart and that she did not have to repay it or fear it and that the originator of the gift wanted to remain anonymous. That this was a pay it forward gesture with no wish for reward. After a couple of weeks of discussion between Mathew's nephew's secretary and the old lady, the dear old soul finally accepted the check and cashed it.

Isn't it quite amazing how a little story in a golf newsletter can travel half way round the world and find a benefactor or two to help an old lady and her granddaughter!

It's a Christmas Tree not a holiday tree

I want to congratulate the Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, for allowing common sense to prevail when he spoke of a Christmas Tree instead of a holiday tree.  If you have read some of my articles you would know that I am a great believer in two things; Common Sense and Exceptional Customer Service.

For anyone to call the tree we decorate with ornaments and lights each year in December a "holiday tree" is absolutely absurd and ridiculous.  The very reason for the tree in the first place is to celebrate Christmas and its birth was as a Christmas Tree.  It has never been anything else, EVER.

Its time to realize that the majority of people know it as and call it a Christmas Tree and it is a sham and hypocritical to call it anything else.  The tree we decorate each year represents Christmas plain and simple.  It is time we stop making up or accepting new names for things to disguise and deceive what they really are or what they represent.

A Fabulous Attitude and Customer Service Go Arm-in-Arm

If my experience at the health store yesterday was simply due to a lack of common sense one could excuse it to some degree because you can't teach common sense.  You either have it or you don't.  However, even if the incident was related to a lack of common sense, you'd still think the person would show some basic customer service.  I am talking really basic customer service like a friendly approach and a true willingness to be helpful and understand the question. 

For you to understand what I am referring to I have completed a replica (below) of what was on the shelf in front of me at this store and thereafter I have recounted how the conversation progressed between the customer service young woman and me.

 

Me:  "Could you help me here please."

Customer Service Woman (CSW):  "Yes.  What is it you want to know?"

Me:  "You have two bottles of 60 caps each of Vit B here with a Bonus Sticker priced at  $35.90.  I think there must be some error because one bottle of 60 is priced at $17.95 and if I bought two of these single bottles it would come to $35.90 so where is the "bonus" in buying these two bottles that are wrapped together in a pack with the bonus sticker on it?"

CSW:  "Oh that comes from the manufacturer with a sticker on it."

Me:  "Yes, but having a bonus sticker on it implies that you are getting a bonus if you take the two pack."

CSW:  "There's no discount."

Me:  "I would think it would be either buy the one and get the other free or one at half price. 

CSW sighing:  "You don't get anything free.  It is just a sticker the manufacturer puts on the package. You would just be buying two bottles for $35.90.

Me:  "It doesn't make sense.  Look at this bigger bottle that has 120 caps in it.  Its price is $26.95.  Why would I buy two bottles each with 60 caps for $35.90 when I can buy one bottle with the same amount of caps for $26.95?

CSW:  "That is the price.  It's $35.90 for these two bottles. The sticker doesn't mean anything.   If you only want to pay $17.95 then buy this bottle."  She pointed to the single bottle with 60 caps in it.

Me:  "How can a pack with a bonus sticker stuck to it not mean anything?  No one puts a bonus sticker on a pack if there isn't a bonus.  What is the bonus?"

CWS with an impatient tone:  "There is no bonus."

Me:  "But can't you see that it's possible that this bonus pack has been marked incorrectly?  No one is going to pay $35.90 for 120 caps in two small bottles when they can buy one big bottle also with 120 caps for the lesser price of $26.90.   To me it's just common sense to think that the sticker means there is a bonus.  Otherwise, why don't you just cut them in half and let them be bought as single bottles." 

CWS:  "They've put them together so you can buy two at a time.  There is no bonus.  I told you that sticker has nothing to do with us.  It’s the manufacturer who put it on."

Me:  Is the owner here?"

CWS:  "No."

Me:  "Okay.  I am going to leave my telephone number for her to call me when she gets in.

CWS:  "You can leave your number with the cashier up front." came the disinterested reply.

At this point I joined the line at the cashier to pay for the other items I had in my basket and just as I emptied my basket on the check out counter another young woman touched my arm.  The original customer service assistant was at her elbow.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry," she held up the bonus pack.  "this pack of two is $17.95.  It's my fault.  I do the pricing and I priced it incorrectly."

Remarkable isn't it?

I thanked her and put the pack on the counter with my other items.  The other young woman did not say a thing.  I got the impression that she felt she had done her job by going to the pricing clerk with the pack.  She didn't feel the need to apologize for making out that I was the foolish one in questioning the pricing.  After all it was the pricing clerk's mistake not hers.

Wouldn't it have been nice if she had said at the very beginning:  "Yes ma'am that price does seem odd.  Let me find out about that for you."  

Customer Service isn't only about sorting out the problem, it's also about how you sort it out.  A fabulous attitude goes arm-in-arm with customer service and that should be common sense right?

Credit Scores As Measures for Employment & Character is simply evil

I find it insidious that a person's character and integrity can be blighted and downgraded to virtual trash via self serving Credit Bureaus.

To use a Credit Bureau credit history and "worthiness" to determine job opportunities or insurance rates, for example, is beyond the pale and to my mind quite evil.  Bad things can happen in a person's financial life which can stem from a variety of reasons that have nothing whatsoever to do with the honesty, integrity and respectability of a person or his/her ability to perform admirably.  In many cases those with so-called top rated credit scores and history who may not have suffered some medical tragedy or untoward financial catastrophe in their lives will almost always get a job before someone who has a "poor" credit history due to the aforementioned events.  It should be that character counts not credit scores and history inside the arena of credit applications.  Credit reports should only count or be pulled for the issuance of credit for purchasing homes, cars and merchandise, etc., period.

Now, I know some will use the inane excuse that the way you conduct your finances is a sure indication of how you conduct the rest of your life and I would say total baloney to that!  If that were the case America should be judged as an immoral, unworthy country because it has lost its AAA credit rating!  No, its credit isn't up to par but it would be ridiculous to berate its character because of that!

Furthermore, what about some of these people in congress whose honesty is questionable but who would make sure their credit history stands up to possible scrutiny during election.  How easy is it to hoodwink people into believing that a perfect credit history means stellar integrity?  Very easy.  Just look at all the companies that tell you they are going to check your credit history when you apply for a job.

By choice I have no credit cards whatsoever and have the philosophy that if you can't pay cash for something you don't buy it, yet because of paying my way as I go, I may have a "poor" history or "low" credit score by virtue of the way Credit Bureaus work.  Now, whilst I have no complaint about not having a "credit track record" to buy large items like a house or car, (that's my choice) I do have a problem with it being used to judge me for insurance and employment and any other use other than to judge my credit performance for providing me with credit.   In other words because I want nothing whatsoever to do with credit ratings, scores, history or bureaus and pay cash, I may have warts on my reputation. My character and performance as an employee may be put into question. This is an outrageous and unacceptable position.

To be judged by an employer or insurance company as to one's integrity and work ethic or as a safe driver using a Credit Bureau's rating, is, in my mind, immoral and wicked.    

A long time friend of mine for over 40 years has an impeccable record of good character and has worked in executive levels of the commercial banking industry for over 30 years.  In fact he has been with the same financial institution for that same period of time.  This man gave excellent, honest advice to his business clients who thrived under his guidance but he never translated his business expertise to his private finances and suffered financially on a personal basis.  Does this mean that his business acumen must be shunned because he might have a low credit score and thereby also a poor credit history? 

It is a form of tyranny that the Credit Bureaus are being used to determine aspects of our lives which have absolutely nothing to do with how good or bad one's credit history is and that isn't even touching on how they determine the ratings in the first place, which is just as maliciously sinful and self-serving.  That is another story for another time.

Good Neighbor, Good Capitalist

Well summer is here and with it the afternoon storms and yesterday the backyard of our new home was flooded.  It is quite amazing to look out upon the garden some 100 ft long by 30ft wide and see the lawn completely submersed in 5 inches of water.  It is also worrisome from the point of view that the rain stopped just as the water was only a quarter of an inch short of coming in at the glass sliding doors! What has this got to do with the goodness of people and capitalism?

Let me explain:  Two marvelous things happened.  The first, the inherent goodness of people.  One of our new neighbors suddenly came banging on the door to rescue us with a spare submersible pump and lots of help and advice. Neighbors caring for neighbors.  People willing to help others in time of need. 

The second marvelous thing that happened is capitalism.  Without capitalism motivating people to innovation in order to satisfy their drive and thereby realizing their God-given inner voices and talent, things like the submersible pump would never have been invented.  Without that pump my yard would still have been swimming in water the following day when the next storm hit us and my house would surely have been flooded inside.

The capitalist, the submersible pump man, had had the idea and spent many hours of sweat and tears perfecting it. He may have left his 9-5 job with a steady income, mortgaged his home, used his savings or taken on a loan or all of the above, in order to get the product in the store.  He would have met all these challenges without any guarantees that the public at large would even embrace, what he believed, was a great product.  He may have had sleepless nights wondering if he had done the right thing in believing in himself, his creation and his ambition.

Then, as his company grew and thrived, his risks grew too.  He had to take on employees and worries about meeting payroll, company insurance and bigger loans to cover the expansion of premises and machinery.  When the company finally became profitable, his reward also finally came and he was able to pay himself substantially.  Yes the rewards were substantial because no matter how much money he may make, the risk of losing it all rests squarely on his shoulders. On his judgment; on his management, on his decisions. 

The employees help him build his business by fitting their individual puzzle piece into its slot each day before going home at 5 and he pays them for their day's work but he goes home each day thinking about how all the pieces fit into the puzzle and most of all, how to keep all the pieces locked together and even if he goes home at 5 too, which is rare, his mind is with the puzzle pieces 24/7.

I know these things.  I ran a business with my husband for 20 years. I lost a business.  I also brought an idea to market that took me years to perfect.  I know the joy and the agony. 

So on this day when my garden flooded I reflected on these things.  The motivation of the individual to help his neighbor and the individual who helps his neighbor through his drive to achieve as a capitalist.  Thank you both for being good Samaritans.  Without both of you we are so much less of a society.  

Oh yes, and one more thing, there are bad neighbors and bad capitalists but fortunately the good ones far outnumber the bad ones and as we don't condemn the whole neighborhood for one bad neighbor, we should not condemn all capitalists because of some bad ones!  That's just common sense to me.

Big Signs Remarkably American

When I first visited America nearly 20 years ago I was awestruck by the big, no, gigantic signs reaching high into the sky announcing hotels, restaurants, fast food places, shops and gas stations etc.  It was so American.  Everything was big.  Big signs, highways, traffic lights, intersections, cars, big gulps and big flags.

The very tall signs, particularly, were so unique to America.  It made America stand out.  It was different and exciting.  We videoed and photographed them and talked about them with enthusiasm and fervor.  I remember being asked to speak at the Rotary Ann's evening about my experience in America when I returned to South Africa and I described this uniqueness.  It resulted in 4 out of 15 ladies and their families visiting Orlando.

I have lived in Orlando for nearly seventeen years now and as the years have passed those big, tall visible signs are virtually no more.

A few days ago, when I was looking for a Burger King in an unfamiliar neighborhood in Orlando I couldn't find it because of the new short stumpy signs.  These, so called, better looking signs are often hidden by parked trucks, low hanging tree branches or untrimmed bushes.  Unlike the lofty, giant signs that could be seen blocks away by the motorist, these miniatures, by comparison, are mostly impossible to see until you are on top of them.  Very irritating.

Granted, they may "tidy" up the neighborhood and look more "classy" if you will, but at the same time the neighborhood becomes ordinary and looks like any other in the world. The signs don't tower above the treetops in a good old fashioned American exceptional way. 

I'm saddened that we have had to say goodbye to the more than life-size signs so unique to America.

The Royal Wedding

I was up early today to watch the Royal Wedding.  Being the granddaughter of a British military man during Queen Victoria's reign and having lived in South Africa when the British anthem was sung and the Union Jack flown with the National Flag, before South Africa became a Republic in 1961, I have always been fascinated with the Royals. 

My mother used to have the Women's Weekly mailed to her from England every week and I enjoyed keeping up with what the Royals were doing through their articles and the many colored picture booklets embedded from time to time within the magazine on the Royal Family.  I remember too, how disappointed I was on occasions when the Pendennis Castle mailship had been delayed and that would sometimes mean we would skip a week and get two magazines the following week.

I found, when I made my first visit to London and stood outside Buckingham Palace that the aura of pageantry touched every corner of it and because my paternal grandfather, as cavalryman in the 13th Hussars in the British Army, must have stood outside those gates too at some point in his life, it was a poignant moment for me.

Today that pageantry with all its grandeur came to life again in the celebration of Prince William's marriage to Kate Middleton.  He, Prince William, in his schooled formality that he performs with such aplomb, made a splendid groom. She, Kate Middleton, wearing a gown that was truly majestic in its simplicity, appeared poised and stately and made a strikingly gorgeous bride. Congratulations to HRH The Duke of Cambridge and HRH The Duchess of Cambridge.

St. Patrick's Day, Irish Lamb Stew & Friendship

St. Patrick's Day is a special day for me because it is the birthday of my oldest friend whom I have known since birth.  Her mother and mine were pregnant together and we were born three weeks apart and with our houses being back-to-back with each other, we grew up together.  We went to Sunday School and were confirmed together.  We attended the local primary and high school together.  We played "dolls" and "paper dolls" and climbed trees and walls and we reserved a special place for each other at our respective birthday party tables.  We both married into Irish families and learned how to make Irish Lamb Stew (click here for recipe) and despite moving 10,000 miles away from each other, and not having seen each other for over sixteen years, we have kept our friendship alive by correspondence, phone calls and in our hearts.

Today, St Patrick's Day, I wish my dear friend a wonderful birthday and dedicate this friendship poem to her.  A Lifelong Friendship

(it's in pdf format so it will take a few seconds to open)

Do Not Ring Doorbell Sign Puts You In Control

Please see our new themed collection of stylish no fuss Please Do Not Ring Doorbell Sign for the sleeping baby, nurse, firefighter and policeman. Click HERE  for pricing and to see our selection of Doorbell Sign Products for no more earth shattering rings to waken your baby or you from your nap because you can now control when you want your doorbell to ring.

It's simple to install above your doorbell . No screws or drills needed; just "peel and stick" the small, hardy but discreet, base port to your wall.  Then place this elegant little Doorbell Sign on its base port whenever you don't want the bell to ring. For convenience it stores on your refrigerator when not in use so you'll always find it when you need it.  If you're a mom with a baby, a nurse, firefighter or policeman or any nighttime worker who wants uninterrupted daytime sleep, you will love this handy sign because its removable, easily stored and gives clear instructions not to ring the doorbell.

Don't go to sleep or take a nap without putting it out.  It goes up and comes down as easy as one, two three and it's right where it can't be missed - above the doorbell. Click HERE for pricing and to buy your sign and view more designs.

  

  Click on thumbsized pictures to enlarge

 

  Click HERE to see more exciting designs

Food Regulations: Florida Senate Bill 760 & House Bill 625 Sugar Free Substitutes

The bill requires food service places to provide sugar-free substitutes for syrups and jellies and preserves and notice to their customers of its availability. This notice must be in the form of menus, signs and posters inside restaurants and at drive-thru areas and when advertising.

Why oh why are politicians getting involved in more regulations on private enterprise.  Do they know or care what unintended consequences their regulations cause?

Maybe those who don't want dangerous sugar substitutes will find themselves having no choice but to accept "sugar-free" syrups and fruit preserves in restaurants because the restaurants will be forced to serve "sugar-free" by law and so why go to the added expense of keeping both?  Instead of being forced to give notice to guests of availability of "sugar-free" substitutes they need merely say "All our products are sugar-free".  They only need to buy one lot of syrups and jellies and preserves. Makes business sense doesn't it?  That's one consequence.

On the side:  I don't want high fructose corn syrup in my syrups and fruit preserves.  I want cane sugar in them.  Is there bill out there for that?  Not as far as I am aware and quite honestly, I don't want there to be because companies are naturally, without regulation, starting to produce products with cane sugar rather than high fructose corn syrup because they are getting the message from their customers and their competition without the heavy hand of political regulation.

You know the big food chains may have all the cashflow resources in the world to submit to these regulations (they'll pass it on in adding it into the food price for all of us that don't want sugar-free) but how about the up front costs for the Mom and Pop food place?

If any of these lobbyists and politicians have ever owned a small business they'd know how such regulations can really play havoc with cashflow especially for a Mom and Pop Restaurant. Small businesses are constantly watching their cashflow.  They may not have the upfront cash to redo their menus with the regulated wording "sugar-free" or to redo the pamphlets they saved money on by printing thousands to last them a couple of years.  They may not have the space for the extra product and the wherewithal to withstand the cost of having new shelving put up.  They may not have the cash up front to buy new product or pay a new supplier of "sugar-free" products or the clout of the bigger chains to fix credit terms.  What about the little country bed and breakfast and the corner café - all will have to redo artwork and have signs and menu's reprinted.  Heck, most of them are struggling to keep their heads above water in this poor economy.

It's a pity that our regulators only think of notches on their belts and lining their pockets and the loss or gain in votes and nothing else because they really do have tunnel vision when they favor one group over another.  Do they realize that running a small business today is becoming more and more difficult because of constant new regulations?  While I was in an architectural business I saw many a restaurant business give up before even opening under the weight of costly regulation.

If there are enough customers asking for "sugar-free" at restaurants, the restaurants will eventually oblige and those who don't will lose customers and money.  Don't take away competition.  Don't take away a free market.  Certainly don't hurt the Mom and Pop places. The little bed and breakfast, the tearoom, corner café or diner.  Allow them to ease into "add ons" like "sugar-free" syrups and fruit preserves at their own pace when the cashflow allows and when they feel they will benefit by giving their customers choices.  Business people are in business to make money not to make people happy.  The fact that happy people in turn, make the business people money is what will drive them to giving the people what they want.

Shouldn't we, when things are so tight, be looking at how to ease up on regulation and allow the free market to flow and grow rather than make it more difficult to run a small food business?

I'd rather use Incandescent than Compact Fluorescent (CFL) Light Bulbs - The Bulb Act

I don't know about you but I think the new so called "green" compact fluorescent light bulbs (the CFL 's) are the ugliest I've ever seen and they change the color of furnishings, giving them a gray hue no matter that they now come in different light colors.  Imagine a row of twists instead of clear décor vanity bulbs.  Believe me I know exactly how awful they look, I have them and my make-up in my bathroom mirror lacks the rosy glow it had with the incandescent bulbs; it definitely looks pasty.  Even concealing them in white glass doesn't change how unattractive they are.  

Now, before you jump on me and tell me how much electricity I am saving by accepting and using these ugly twists, to be honest, on an individual level, I've noticed absolutely no difference at all.  With regard to environmental issues, I'd hardly call the tiny bit of mercury in each compact fluorescent light bulb insignificant particularly when the government has issued instructions on how to deal with them if a breakage occurs. I would rather have five ordinary light bulbs in the landfill for every one of these CFL's with mercury in them. 

The government's instructions on dealing with a breakage includes handling the mercury powder with gloves, a mask and putting everything into a bag that must be sealed tightly and discarded according to local rules.  Wow! Does everybody know this? Do people with young children know to protect their children if they knock over a lamp with one of these CFL's in it, not just from broken glass but from mercury?

If everyone has just 10 of these compact fluorescent light bulbs in their homes, which is very probable because the good old ordinary incandescent ones are already hard to find, imagine how much mercury is going to land up in landfills if people aren't made aware of how dangerous the new compact fluorescent light bulbs can be.

Honestly, when you look at the big picture it's hardly worth their tubular ashen ugliness but do we even have a choice anymore? No!  Incandescents have been banned.  They are being phased out and we will see the last of them in 2014.  That is why, at Target, for instance, you have rows and rows of the ugly, dangerous mercury filled compact fluorescent light bulbs and you have to really SEARCH to find the good old fashioned incandescent light bulb in a corner at the bottom of the shelf.

Update on Thursday, May 19, 2011 at 12:37PM by [Pamela McMonagle]

Are there any of our representatives addressing the problem of the dangerous compact fluorescent  light bulbs (CFL) and giving us back our choice of incandescent over CFL?  I have just read of how CFL's explode and catch fire.  They are a fire hazard and as of May 12th The Consumer Product Safety Commission has recalled 16 models of CFL 's in various wattages because they can overheat. 

I say stop the madness.  We've had 100 years of gorgeous light at the flick of switch that caused no problems to boisterious kids or dogs or humans or the environment for that matter.  Reverse the ban on incandescent light bulbs and make America a safer place to live!

Update on Wednesday, July 13, 2011 at 8:32AM by [Pamela McMonagle]

The Better Use of the Light Bulb (Bulb) Act failed in congress.  A very sad day for the incandescent light bulb and the American people.  You know what though?  There was no real opposition to the CFL bulb per se and therefore no good reason for lifting the ban on the incandescent bulb.   No desire to make the people aware of its dangers so that they could want the ban lifted on the incandescent and thereby have a choice between a mercury filled CFL and the ordinary Edison incandescent.   Nothing.  Why?  Because, again,  they weren't opposed to the CFL, they just didn't want the incandescent banned.  There was no real passion for the cause and no real punch either.  What a wishy-washy lot we have in congress.

I have inquired of the cashier at the grocery store, my hairdresser, the nurse taking my husband's vitals before surgery, the teacher down the road.  None have any clue that the new Compact Fluorescent Light Bulb (CFL) being forced on us have mercury in them.  None.  They should know more but they don't and since congress is aware of how little people pay attention they should have broadcast it and made them aware so they could be engaged and get behind them!  It's no small thing that we no longer have a choice between burning a bulb that has mercury in it and a bulb that hasn't.

Welcome To The Neighborhood!

I recently moved into a new neighborhood.  During the month before the actual move I spent some time cleaning and upgrading the new house.  Each time I arrived in the driveway there was always one of the nearby neighbors either departing or arriving in their own driveway and they would stare at me.  I knew they were assessing me.  Wondering if I would be a worthy neighbor.  I was doing the same.  I was wondering if I would like the neighborhood as much as I liked the house.

Then on D-Day, when I finally arrived with a carload of breakable treasures and the moving truck behind me, they came across, one by one, to introduce themselves and welcome me to the neighborhood.  

That was when I really began to like the neighborhood I'd chosen to stay in.  It didn't matter that they might have come out of curiosity rather than to extend a welcome.  The fact that they had come at all was what mattered.

The houses around me took on a new life.  They weren't just stucco and shingles and shuttered windows.  They were filled with the chatter and laughter of people and these people; these neighbors, were the ones who had made me feel a part of their community by taking the trouble to meet and greet me.  

It made me realize that no matter how private we like to be in our lives and how much we all seek our little spot of privacy; it is nice to know your neighbor.

To all those who would watch someone move into their neighborhood from afar, don't be afraid to step up to the door and ring the bell and let them know who you are. Smile and shake hands and welcome them.

It truly makes a difference to the newcomer's first night in a strange house and neighborhood.  

My Son's Wedding Day

On the eve of a beautiful day in October this year my son became a husband.  The day started and ended with wall to wall blue sky and brilliant sunshine.  On that special day my son's happiness was paramount to me and when I walked down the isle on my husband's arm towards my son waiting for his bride, I felt incredibly proud that he was my son.  He looked handsome and distinguished and every bit the calm, unflappable man I had had a hand in guiding to maturity. 

I know without a doubt that he will be the best husband that he can be and that the vows he took that  day, are vows from the heart and taken with the utmost sincerity and love for the young woman who accepted his proposal and agreed to marry him just over a year ago. I know too, that he will respect her as he has always respected me and that his giving, kind heart and remarkable strength of character will always show through with love and support for his wife no matter what twists and turns their life together may take.

To my son, I wish you all the happiness you deserve. To my new daughter, I warmly welcome you into our family.

     

A Truly Loving Parent

Following on my article in my journal entitled "The Joy of Parenting", I thought I should clarify the difference between a parent who remains loving and caring of their adult children and a parent whose love and caring becomes interfering and manipulative.  Some parents selfishly believe they have every right to run the lives of their grown children. They disguise their selfishness in the cloak of "I'm only thinking of your wellbeing" attitude when they interfere and manipulate and they even convince themselves that what they are doing is the right thing for their child.

When a child becomes an adult, especially one well into their twenties, trying to get them to do things the parent's way by manipulation and often times outright blackmail, shows the parent's immaturity more than their child's. Adult children should be able to make their own decisions and if these decisions are not their parent's way of doing things, the parent should let it go, unless it is very harmful to their child's health, because if they don't, they are trying to act as their child's crutch and in so doing, they're not being responsible parents.

Interfering, manipulative parents voice their opinion regardless as to whether they have been asked and don't care one ounce about their offspring's feelings.  Their need to have their own feelings, needs, desires and aspirations satisfied are paramount and all that count. 

They see their way as the only way because it makes them feel good and they seldom stop to think that their actions upset and hurt their children. Oftentimes, sadly, their manipulation is subtle in the form of tiny prods here and there.  They're always grabbing the steering wheel and steering their children in the direction they want them to go.

Loving parents let go and don't step on their child's stage of life.  They remain in the wings to offer words of encouragement or comfort or a "safety net" and only give advice when asked.

The balance between a loving parent voicing an opinion and an interfering parent is a fine one.  In my opinion, if you can discern the difference and use it to bring happiness to your child, you've made the grade as a parent.  A truly loving parent.

P.S.  The above article is dedicated to my late mother.  A woman who never interfered, ever; before or after I married.  Thank you Mom

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The Joy Of Being A Parent

It is true that until you are a parent you have no idea what the meaning of having and loving and caring for a child really is.  From conception to birth to forever your children are embedded in your heart and your life.  Everything they do has meaning to you.  When they suffer, you suffer, when they are happy you are happy.  Most often these emotions are endured or experienced inwardly in silence across the chambers of your mind and in the depths of your soul.

It is impossible to describe to them what you really feel.  They will only know when they have children of their own.   A loving parent's feelings towards his/her own children are unique but I think that feelings towards all children take on a new dimension in the transformation to parenthood. 

I remember a teacher friend of mine who told me how differently she looked upon the children she taught after she, herself, became a parent.  Her demands and expectations of children and their parents were infinitely more fine-tuned. 

Understand that I am not saying that a childless teacher has less understanding of children than a teacher who has children but that it is a different understanding of children. Again, only those who have children of their own, whom they love deeply, can fully comprehend what I am referring to.  

All in all, when God gives the gift of a child to parents, they enjoy blessings so wondrous that no matter what the tribulations that come with the grand responsibility of parenting, the bond between them and their child remains a powerful and magical force. 

When Customer Service and Common Sense Meet

Last year I wrote an article entitled "Customer Service Should Be Common Sense".  I mentioned that customer service was the "vanguard of any business" and that customer services means "being genuinely engaged with your customer, smiling, giving, forgiving and pleasing".

When I had my own business, everything revolved around making my customers' experience the best I could, both for their satisfaction and my satisfaction, because if they were completely satisfied with the service I offered and gave, then I was satisfied.  Not only monetarily but also inwardly, at the heart.     

I wrote the article because I had often experienced some really rotten customer service and was frustrated that customer service just didn't seem to come naturally to some people and that common sense and customer service seemed light years apart.

Last week I had the immense pleasure of experiencing customer service at its rewarding best.  It gave me "heart" to know that there are still some people out there who know instinctively how to treat their most valuable asset, their customer/client. 

My son is getting married in a couple of months and I have been searching for a suitable "mother of the groom" gown.  None seemed to "pop" until along came this copper colored taffeta with its shutter pleats and elegant bolero. It was perfect in every way except it was just too tight around the hips and the departmental store confirmed that they did not have a bigger size.  My seamstress assured me that unless she had two of the same she could not perform the miracle I was wanting by adding to the one.

In desperation I emailed the company who manufactured the label on the dress to see if they actually made the style in the size I needed.  That is when I got to know Bob, the vice president.  He confirmed that it was not made in a bigger size in a missy.  This is when most people like the sales associate at the store, end their customer service.  Not Bob.  He took the service up a notch.  He told me that it was made in plus sizes and said if a plus size could work for me he could help me. 

I was delighted because it would be much easier for my seamstress to "take in" a larger garment than build one out of two and less expensive for me too.

Several emails later Bob introduced me to Kathryn.  She was the buyer of his retail client and she was able to search all the departmental stores in her group to find the gown in a plus size.  After a few emails and telephone calls were exchanged between us she excitedly told me that she had located the gown in Ohio and would have it shipped to my home in Florida.

I have just returned from my first fitting at the gallery who specialize in miracle alterations and I am extremely happy with the perfect fit of this lovely gown.   

Bob and Kathryn's willingness to go out of their way to make me and my special day happy is not only impressive but it makes customer service shine brilliantly and that definitely needs to be in the spotlight.  Thank you to both of you for your common sense approach to customer service.

Family, Friends and Friendship

When you leave a country and start a new life in another one across the ocean, some 10,000 miles way, you never really realize or fully understand, at the time, just how much you will miss your family and friends.  You may argue that you will go back often to visit your family and friends and they will visit you but some 10,000 miles is a long way away and a very expensive plane journey.  In my case it is 20 hours by plane if I include travelling from Florida to New York to take the 18 hour international flight.  This actual flying time does not include airport check-in and waiting times; those can easily add on another 6 to 7 hours.

If any of your friends or family do visit it will be a brief one during which time they will be recovering from jetlag, be dashing to theme parks and sight seeing. It will never replace the frequent telephone calls and impromptu home visits when you lived in the same or nearby city.  The times you called a family member or friend on a Saturday morning and said: "how about coming over for a barbeque tonight" and then, after a great time together at the barbeque, you would call a couple of days later and say: "remember our talk at the barbeque about that new boutique in the mall, how about us doing breakfast and that store together."

I got a text message from my brother and sister-in-law on Sunday May 30th saying they were watching the Comrades Marathon on television and it just wasn't the same without us there.  For years I'd had had a champagne breakfast on Comrades Marathon day under umbrellas in our garden for about 25 people and thinking about these times, I immediately felt incredibly nostalgic. 

A few weeks ago some friends of ours of some 26 years, called to say they were in Florida for a week and could we meet for a few hours.  They were visiting family in Ft. Lauderdale and we agreed to meet in Ft. Pierce, the half-way mark between the two of us.

Not knowing where to go for lunch we agreed to meet just off the I-95 and decide from there.  As it turned out, "just off the highway" was a trucker's stop called "Country Market" and it had clean restrooms, a charming restaurant and an appetizing buffet and we all agreed to look no further. 

We slid into a booth, ordered something cool to drink for each of us and between serving ourselves from the buffet, we didn't stop talking for five hours.  We were oblivious to anyone and anything around us.  We caught up on each other's lives, remembered other times we were together, built businesses and solved the world's problems.  Most of all though, we shared laughter and a camaraderie that only longtime friends could enjoy because of a friendship foundation built long ago.  That friendship was taken up as if there had never been years since we last were in contact beyond a few emails per year and the yearly Christmas Card.  It truly was a memorable day!

Those of you who do not have to rely exclusively on expensive air travel and can visit friends and family by car in another City or State, take a brief moment to give thanks for having them close enough so that four wheels will get you there.  It really is very painful to have family and old friends across the ocean, some 10,000 miles away and be unable to see them for 10 years or more at a time.

That said though, I am pleased to have celebrated this 4th of July in Florida with my children and new friends and have made another collection of memories to look back upon and write about.

The Please Do Not Ring Doorbell Sign - A Christmas Stocking St uffer

I'd like to introduce you to my Please Do Not Ring Doorbell sign because it puts you in control of your doorbell. We all know the many times the ringing of your doorbell means the end of yours or your baby's or toddler's nap that hasn't even begun.  How often have you or your baby been awakened by the shrill of the doorbell?  The Please Do Not Ring Doorbell sign or the Please Do Not Ring Doorbell Baby Sleeping sign placed above your doorbell will stop your interrupted sleep, and that of your baby or toddler.  Also, if you are a nighttime worker, a caregiver, doctor, nurse, firefighter, policeman or any other nighttime worker who is a daytime sleeper you will have the choice of having your doorbell rung or not.

Your elegant Doorbell Sign will compliment your doorbell and is so easy to install without screws or drills.  Just "peel and stick" the small (1.7" X 1/2") hardy but discreet base port to your wall above the doorbell and place the removable doorbell sign (2.1/4" x 2.1/4") on the base port whenever you need some daytime sleep. For convenience, when not in use, store it on your refrigerator for quick access.

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